SugarDaddy

If you don't know me, sugar and I are like vinegar and baking soda or whatever you made those "volcanoes" out of in middle school. If I increase the intake I got energized to explosion. So I was thrilled to piggyback my soy bean work with a group of investors here working on a grand new sugar operation in the South. I'm still not exactly sure what they want me to do besides spy on their competition and be a friendly, white face, but I'm not complaining. In a related note, I am smiling all the time because everyone is constantly giving me sugarcane snacks.

Since, I last impacted you with my thoughtful prose, I have been sent up north to visit the Illovo Sugar Estate in Dwangwa and talk sugar strategy with some of their managers. They introduced me as a "potential investor and marketing consultant." I replied that I certainly could tell a Snickers from a Three Musketeers. So far, we have had a few days of golf and then being taken to the beach to sip beers and discuss ways to access Western markets. Each time they ask me a sugar-related question there is a -200 odds it is followed by an awkward silence and me pulling my best Sarah Palin to divert the question to something I can talk about, "I gotta tell you, I prefer Carlsburg to Heineken, because they just got the amount of sugar right in it, the sweetness really makes the difference." It's been working for a little too long.

I feel like I am some sort of ignorant pawn in an industrial espionage battle. But, I'm being lodged and fed for free, playing golf and having meals on white sandy beaches so I'm pumped to start reliving this strange adventure next week when I get back to Lilongwe. It has only got sketchy once when my "colleagues" played off me going back to the US in a couple weeks as an attempt to "bring in new investors." Pretty soon, I'm going to be introduced as Barack Obama's half-brother. I'll let you know when I figure this out.

For the weekend, I'm celebrating St. Patty's day in style. A few friends and I are venturing out to Likoma Island in the middle of Lake Malawi for scuba diving, Carlsburg Greens (just a coincidence that the most popular beer in Malawi is called "green") and relaxation. This does however mean that I get to relive the Ilaha ferry (see Voyage From Hell back in November). I am scheduled to meet the ferry at midnight tonight in Nkhotakota and take it for 14 hours to the island. I'm preparing myself this time for the notorious delays, sweaty, rat-infested sleeping spaces and rainstorms this time.

I'll have updates next week,
Steven